Life is worth more than defining it based on someone’s
interpretation or experience. Many have blindly accepted
the definition of love as feelings, hence, have had their
hopes been dashed or they themselves confused when
feelings no longer exist.
You’re unique! See, people’s definitions of love as feelings,
the movies’ expression, the dictionary’s definition or your
friend’s explanation of love based on feelings are wrong.
Absolutely wrong! I will prove it.
One common expression of love is this: a butterfly ‘feeling’
that you have in your belly. Sounds weird, right? What
happens when the butterfly dies or the feelings doesn’t
With my experience about love and relationship, I have
come to understand that feelings are temporal but love, a
decision that is made to be committed and to do all it takes
to make who you love happy, is the real definition of love.
Here are my disapproval about love as been interpreted or
referred to as feelings.
#1 – Feelings can never stand the test of time because
it is temporal.
Imagine how you felt when you first bought your new pair
of shoes. It will drive you crazy. You’d want to wear it in
most occasion or tell your friends about it.
But what happens after 5 months or 1 year, do you still feel
the same way about it? No! You want another pair. Won’t
The same happens to love been interpreted as feelings.
Over time, that feelings will cease to exist due to time,
situation or unforeseen circumstances. But when love is
birthed out of a decision that isn’t influence by feelings,
lust or infatuation; it grows through thick and thin.
#2 – Feelings cannot survive the demands and
responsibilities of a relationship
Can it cope with the sacrifice, energy, frequent
communication, resources and other things put together to
make a relationship flourish? Feelings will cease when the
demand is high. But, love is committed regardless of the
#3 – Feelings cannot cope or tolerate its partner’s
weakness or shortcomings
Imagine when you love a person based on the feelings you
had for his/her beauty, only to discover that he/she is very
stubborn. 😀 Will you cope?
Many, entered into relationships only to discover some
shortcomings about their partner. This, because they
cannot cope, made them to dissolve the relationship. Not
so in the case of love. Love tolerates, bears and endures all
things – not in the case of domestic violence.
#4 – Feelings can only like a person but not love them
Love doesn’t exist at first sight only feelings. You can like a
person based on their appearance, how they talk or
behave but love is attached to the acceptance of who you
love despite their imperfections. It costs nothing to like a
person but love demands lots of sacrifice and compromise
to stay committed to who you love.
#5 – You can have feelings for more than one person
Human beings are not emotionally static, that is, they can
be emotionally tied to one or more persons. This is one of
the reasons why a married woman may have a crush for a
young guy. Why, you may ask?
But in the case of love, you cannot love everyone the way
you’d love your spouse. Can you? I mean love that would
demand your sacrifice and commitment.
It is normal to have feelings for someone but abnormal
when it becomes the basis of going into a relationship or a
reason for committing your heart to love. Relationship
needs more than just feelings to start because its a
Don’t go into a love relationship when you cannot define
your real basis for love other than feelings. Your feelings
are temporal and it can never stand the test of time or
cope with your partner’s shortcomings. Love is NOT
feelings but a decision to stay committed and do all it takes
to make your partner better.