Story: The Test Of Faith …Episode 15 (By Faith H. Collins)
The Test Of Faith
I am a most noteworthy sinner, but I have cried out to the Lord for grace and mercy, and they have covered me completely. I have found the sweetest consolation since I made it my whole purpose to enjoy His marvellous Presence.
“Angie I love you with all my heart, say you will be mine please I can’t live without you” he grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss. IT’S FINALLY HAPPEINING! I leaned in as he was about to kiss me. “Angel honey wake up I don’t want you to be late for school Derek is waiting” she shook me and a glared “if you want I can get your father-“NONONO”. I leaped out of bed and gave her a hug “I like your wake up calls more” she smiled and ran her finger though her brown and grey hair. I ran though my room; I ran to my closet and began to throw things everywhere. I grabbed my phone and noticed I had a calendar alert: May 19 Derek’s 16th Birthday “great” I mumbled. Now I not only have to look nice for my crush and now I have to look flawless because it’s his birthday.
UGH the struggle. I decided on white flats, a green ruffled tank top, and white shorts; I quickly curled my hair and snuck down stares. Luckily my dad wasn’t there only my mom watching TV in the kitchen “Bye mom” I hugged her “honey you love that boy and don’t deny it one day you will have to face your father you are 16 you need to stand up”.
IS IT OBVIOUS? How? Well she is my mother, she is right but I just can’t do it not until I HAVE to. I unlocked the door and turned around to find Derek tapping his foot amused “hey birthday boy” I hugged him “wow my birthday should be everyday” he smirked patting my hair. We started walking and I couldn’t help but smile “why are you smiling?” he gave his signature smirk. “When I was younger I always wanted to be 16 in movies they were always so free and in a relationship I’m 16 now and nothing’s changed”.
“I have a genius idea…really amazing ALBERT ENSTEIN would be proud” he gushed “ok MR. Cocky what is it” I pleaded him to go on. “Well I’m getting my car today yep its red Lamborghini…any way a couple of my guys are going clubbing with me want to come”. Ok what is a club? Maybe it’s where we go to a club and they celebrate birthdays…ok I tried but it’s a place that contains alcohol, drinking, and ….stripers I THINK. “It sounds tempting but we have exams next week and I don’t want slurred speech while taking a test” he laughed “hey those are for people who can’t hold their alcohol, haven’t you been drunk before?” I shook my head “no prefer to know where I am at all times have to go happy birthday bad boy”. “I prefer playboy but it’s your choice” he winked and walked away.
I walked through the halls looking for Suzie, Zoë and Mandy I finally found them by the steps hugging Suzie. “Hey guys” I waved they all gave a small wave, Zoe gave me that “Suzie is in pain” look something I knew all too well. “Suzie you ok?” I sat on the steps “she won’t talk to us” Zoe whispered. “Well Suzie whatever is happening I will always be by your side and remember whatever happened God is always there for you” the bell rang and we all rushed off to class. After first and second period the bell rang and I walked out of class i began to stuff my tests in my locker “wow another A” I mumbled.
I swear when I got a C in math that was the happiest day of my life, as I walked by the library Derek pulled me in. He held my hand and brought me to a secluded area, I tried to hide the fact that he was actually holding my hand.
“Wow Derek I’m so proud of you I never thought you knew were the library was” I snickered and he rolled his eyes. “Please you never made it past the religion section” HOW DID HE KNOW! “pssh know I read romantic things” I lied he nodded. “Great so you wont mind if I did this… he immediately kissed me and I kissed back, our lips moved in synch and I could not believe this was happening. His tongue glided against my lips and I released, my legs snaked around his hips as he pushed me against the wall,
“Derek….stop” I moaned as he softly kissed my neck. “HMMM foreplay” he moaned “no stop” I shoved him and he suddenly realised what he did “Angie I’m sorry I-“save it Hunter” I snapped “If I didn’t stop I cold have lost me V-Card in a library”. I grabbed my stuff and he looked at me “well at least I don’t have to give you a present, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Derek” I glared at him as i walked out of the library.
I MADEOUT WITH DEREK HUNTER, I just made out with the hottest bad boy in the school! Jokes on me he doesn’t want me….just my body. I ran to the lunchroom while trying to hide the noticeable hickeys.
I found them at the end of lunchroom once again surrounding Suzie “hey girls…and Johnny” I walked up to them I sat down on the chair beside her. “Suzie how about after school you can come to my house and we can talk” she nodded smiling a bit; I relaxed into my chair because I knew the questions were about to spiral out of control. “So that’s great everything’s fine now back to Angie….where were you” Johnny smirked already knowing the answer. “I was….in the library….studying with a friend” I lied smoothly, “what were you guys studying?” Mandy asked getting into the convo. “I was studying…chemistry” I lied again; maybe we could have been studying that if he actually liked me.
“Um Angie” Mandy interrupted my thoughts “you aren’t taking chemistry this semester” “I can’t have a hobby!” I huffed annoyed. “In chemistry are you supposed to have hickeys” she played along; thankfully the bell rang and ran to class.
The rest of the day was spent dodging annoying bullets (friends), and Derek, while also getting A’s. I ran to my locker at the end of the day racing to grab my things so nobody would bombard me with stupid questions like “what’s on your neck” or “are you guys dating yet I’ve been shipping AN-EK forever”. As I closed my locker Johnny picker me up and threw me over his shoulder and started walking “Johnny put me down” I screeched clawing and kicking furiously. “For Christ’s sake calm down we’re almost there” I sighed “put me down” I groaned “you wish is my command” he put me down and I was standing next to none other than Derek.
“Ok you two, I’m no mind reader but something tells me something went on between you two” Johnny taped his foot dramatically waiting for answers, “how do you know?” I folded my arms trying to defend myself. “Well let’s see” he fake thought “Derek has been sulking since lunch” he turned to me “and you have resorted to violence clawing and kicking me tiss tiss” he shook his head. I looked at Derek and his expression softened “I’m sorry” we said in unison “why are you sorry” I laughed confused.
“I said pretty rude things to you that I sure didn’t mean” I admitted. “I crossed a line I should have never went past your limits I know how much your faith means to you….and we aren’t even dating” OUCH! That hurt. “Sometimes I forget that you’re not just any girl” I blushed slightly
“so we cool?” he held out his arms I nodded hugging him. “See you later cutie” he winked walking away, CUTIE! EEP I turned around to see Johnny smirking. “Are you satisfied?” I folded arms. “You like him” he sing sang “shut up” I flushed with embarrassment “shut up” “you like him” he sang louder “and you’re not denying it”. I hit playfully in the arm “don’t worry I think he likes you” I laughed “for once you were right you defiantly not a mind reader” I walked away and grabbed Suzie.
We walked in awkward silence until we reached my house “wow what a lovely house” Suzie commented, “thanks my dad picked it out” I fumbled with my keys before opening the door. I opened the door to see my dad sitting on the bar stool and reading the bible TYPICAL!
“hi daddy” I smiled walking up to him and hugging him. “Hi pastor Storm” she smiled “so what are you ladies doing this fine evening?” he fixed his glasses “just talking dad” I said truthfully he nodded and went back to his bible. Sometimes I wish I could be like my dad constantly with his bible, it must feel great to have a job like that.
She sat down on my bed and I grabbed my strawberry scented tissues JUST IN CASE! “Ok Suzie what’s been going on?”. A tear fell from her face “I-I’m a k-killer” she cried “just tell me we can work this out” I pleaded “ok but don’t get mad” I nodded.
“Last year before you came I lived with both my parents; anyway it was the beginning of grade 9 of course I was at Mandy’s watching the latest big bang theory episode. I walked home and when I walked into my house I immediately smelt whisky and beer, my dad WAS a very religious man. Sometimes he did drink but he didn’t over do it because he knew what the bible said, I put my book bag down and he kind of swayed over to me. I don’t know if it was him drinking or his hungry eyes but I was scared, he said to me “shower or bed” his speech was slurred so it was hard to understand him. I was so naive at that time, of course I didn’t know what he was talking about so I said “daddy I already took a shower” he smiled and said “bed it is”.
He grabbed me and dragged me unto my parent’s bed, I didn’t know what to think he was on top of me smirking and I started crying. He told me “stop crying you worthless girl” he said to me I had to fulfill my mom’s deeds, that year my mom was taking up more hours at work to pay for my dad that got laid off. He started taking off my clothes and kissing me ANGIE IT WASNT NORMAL, it wasn’t like when he used to kiss me. I was so scared, wouldn’t you be!” Tears started violently falling off her face
“did he….do you…um” she nodded and then shook her head. ” I-I lost it to my father, after he was done he put back on his clothes and slapped me on my butt more than 10 times. Before he left he said to me “if you tell your mother I will kill you and if you tell Amanda I will kill her but it’s not like anybody would believe you, you worthless piece of shit”.
A week later my mom noticed I was acting differently so she asked me, I broke out in tears and told her everything. She believed me and she said to me “sweetie we are going to get justice” so she took my dad to court. It was beyond scary, court is nothing like TV, I gave a testimony but I broke out in tears when I saw my dad with that same evil smirk plastered on his face. He knew he would win. The judge didn’t believe me they let my dad walk out of there scot-free, my mom didn’t stop, she got a restraining order and a divorce.
That day I was outraged and God the judge at my father EVERYBODY! I needed some source of release, that day my boyfriend Robbie asked me if I wanted to have sex. I accepted. I was such an idiot in less than 3 moths I had sex two times and then….I got pregnant. It was Robbie’s of course, I was always so true to my faith until Robbie came along when I told him he said to me “nobody loves you the way I do…get rid of the baby”. So I had an abortion. It hurt physically and emotionally, after they finished I knew something went wrong they looked at my mom and told her. Of course I didn’t understand what was going on, my mom said that there was a possibility I would not be able to have kids any more. The machine malfunctioned it sucked out the baby and the uterus which then got damaged, the next day I told Robbie and he broke up with me.
I didn’t tell Mandy or Zoe I kept everything inside because I knew how much they would hate me. In September the week before you came he tried talking to me, he told me that he found the Lord. He told me that he loved me and how much God can forgive me and how much God loves me” she blew into her tissue and wiped her tears.
“See Suzie everything worked out you just need to move on and get back together with Robbie you guys would be perfect together” I said sincerely. “He was right, God does forgive you” I added “how can God forgive me when I can’t even forgive myself… I lost it” I gave her a friendly hug. “Listen Suzie you need to put this all behind you, yes you had sex at the age of 15, yes you had an abortion, yes you were raped, but that all goes down because you know what you did and you are covered by the blood of Jesus”.
“The moment you accepted Christ, your old life passed away”she nodded “but I never accepted Christ” she whispered. “Well there is no time like the present” I joked trying to lighten the mood “I can’t I’m a sinner a hypocrite there is no way I will make it to heaven”.
“Suzie look at me” she looked at me with broken eyes “I can’t do it Angie I’m not like you” I smiled understanding what she is saying. “I’m not me, this girl you think I am all perfect and flawless is your eyes deceiving you being a preachers daughter isn’t easy I’m asked to be perfect to be something I’m not. It’s not easy but because of faith I have strength to keep moving” she grinned and hugged me
“so God will forgive me” “you have to first forgive yourself”. I looked at her “you need to realise you where naive you are no longer that girl you were before you know you where wrong you debt is forgiven”. She smiled o longer crying “although you may not be able to have kids you can always adopt and save a poor kids life” she nodded in agreement. “I want to accept Christ”.
I tried not to look to happy but I ended beaming, I kneeled with her I grabbed her hand and began “Suzie you are going to repeat after me remember this only works if you truly mean it:
Jesus I admit I am a sinner I admit I am nothing without you I’m lost broken even…I’m sorry from now on everything I do is for you everything I am is because if you In Jesus Name Amen”. Suzie repeated after me and looked up there plastered on her face was the biggest smile I could have ever seen “thanks I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulder”.
I looked at my already blinking phone: 1 New Message Derek Hunter
I didn’t get a car…..I got a motorcycle
The bad boy got a motorcycle ugh that is so cliché
Only if I had a good girl to ride with *Wink wink*
I gulped Suzie hovered over me reading the message “the bad boy likes you.
To Be Continued
Please excuse the mistakes, this chapter is very dear to my heart because im strongly pro-life and Suzie past is one of many others; stay strong to your faith God is all around you.
PS. Sorry for the longness of the chapter