The Test Of Faith
But the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as a thief. Then the heavens will pass away with a terrible noise, and the very elements themselves will disappear in fire, and the earth and everything on it will be found to deserve judgment. (2 PETER 3:10)
You know when you just find out this big secret and then suddenly you feel like a complete idiot because it was right in front of you.
Maybe it’s your friend’s obvious crush, or a big equation in math, or even a surprise cliff hanger on TV but if you’re anything like me. It’s my whole life.
Since the beginning of my high school, I would walk through the halls with that smirk fixed on my face that took forever for me to master. Yet when I passed the Jesus freaks they didn’t smirk, they smiled not one of those sly smiles AN ACTUAL SMILE.
Naturally the first question that came into my mind was: why are those Jesus freaks so happy? But you see the answer is right in the question. Jesus. If I knew that then, rather than now all my problems could have been solved.
“LET IT GO!!! LET IT GO CAN’T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!” screeched my sister attempting to sing, so maybe not all my problems would have been solved. “Bre will you shut up you are NOT in the movie Frozen” I really regret taking her to see the dumb movie, “do you want build a snowman?” she whispered.
“BRE we live in Florida, the only snowman you gunna be making is a mini one made of marshmallow’s” she huffed and walked towards Johnny’s car. Who was dropping her off. “Hey Bre go sit next to Josh” Johnny smiled wiggling his eyebrows; the only sitting he will be doing is in a hospital if he touches her.
“Hey Bre” I motioned her to come closer “only to more days t’ill Christmas” she nodded happily “I’ll bet Santa will get you that Elsa doll you want if you sit FAR away from Josh and sing at the top of your lungs. To ANY frozen song” she nodded beaming at me and running into his car.
“Good luck Johnny boy” I muttered, that’s what he get’s for setting my 7-year-old little sister with a guy that plays with other girls.
I ran over to Angie’s locker gasping for air “hey babe” I gasped as she swung her locker shut, “hey Der sorry I couldn’t walk with you today I was busy setting up for you big day” she beamed doing jazz hands.
That’s right today is the day, the day where I accept Christ into my life. Why’d I wait? You may ask, well because I wanted to wait, I mean it’s not like I’m going anywhere or anything I have lots of time.
I’m going to accept Christ as my personal savior, was I nervous…pssh no I’m Derek Hunter I’m not scared of anything.
“Derek, Derek” she snapped her fingers in my face making me come back to reality, “your sweating” I looked at my hands they were shaking….ok maybe I was a little scared.
Angie grabbed my hand and used her thumb to rub my hand in circles, I breathed a sigh of relief “I know your scared…but I’m here with you” she said in a reassuring tone.
Oh good grief why must you be the best girlfriend in the world, “what’s going to happen today?”Of course the bell rang and being the goody two shoes that she is she pecked me on the lips and rushed off to class.
I couldn’t blame her if my future was as bright as here’s I’d do the same, but I’m not so as everybody rushed off to class with their heads ready to be filled with knowledge.
I sat on the steps…with a head full of questions. Was it going to hurt? Would I be accepted? Would Angie still love me? I’m so confused! Then a voice entered my mind “what would Angel do?”
God voice disappeared and I was left alone, when Angie’s confused, upset, angry or depressed she bows her head.
I bowed my head allowing myself to close my eyes and then I realised…she prays she is probably talking to God. I didn’t know no how so I just began to say what was on my mind.
“Jesus I don’t know how to pray some fancy prayer like people do at church telling you how much they love you and how awesome you are… I guess you get sick of that right” nothing, whoa tough God. “Anyway look I’m not doing anything fancy but here I am, I give everything up to you this is all I have to offer and hopefully that’s enough….I don’t know how Angie usually ends this but I know you have to say amen . So…amen”
I opened my eyes and looked around, what I found! My so called ‘friends’ staring at me as if I was talking to myself. I wasn’t, and I knew who I was talking to.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Johnny walking up to me, his brown hair flopping back and forth as he walked, his jumping for the pacing of his steps. See he is an excellent example of who Angie should have ended up with.
“Hey man” he smiled sitting down beside me “hey” I offered a small smile, I looked down at my vans as he scooted closer to me. “Dude you look like a lost puppy” I gave a small laugh and stared down at my vans “Johnny does Angie really love me? Does she want to accept me? Ugh these feelings there just so hard” I mumbled the last part.
He looked at me seriously “see these are the kinds of things girls talk about…if my dad was here he would say this” he paused grabbing my shoulder. “You my sons…are a girl” he laughed slapping his knee “ok ok” he dropped his smile. “I know you, this isn’t just about Angie” I nodded man this guy could read me like a book, “what if God finds out about my addiction?” now he fell of the stares laughing.
“Dude” he smiled wiping away a fake tear “Jesus already knows he does no all! It’s Angie you have to think about… does she know about your past have you trusted her fully”. I can’t! I can’t tell her about court! “But then I can’t accept him right?” he leaned in closer to me.
“The question is: Do you want to accept him?”
He left leaving me with a whole new string of un-answered questions, thanks buddy.
Do I? I believe in God so I’m no longer an atheist…isn’t that enough; come on it has to count for something. I believe God loves me and forgives me but my heart just isn’t in this, then how could I? The bell rang and for a change I went to class wanting to see my girl.
I took my seat and a young teacher wearing a very tight shirt and skirt walked in. “Hello class my name is Miss. Young and I will be your substitute music teacher” jocks from the back began to bark things at her.
“Hey hot stuff, so your single” thank goodness for her she decided to say “yes I am” while pointing to her engagement ring. I can’t believe I actually used to act like those idiots back there, if only they knew how much they were missing out.
“Well since Christmas will be passing and we will be taking a long break away from each other” everybody hooted.
“I decided we would play some gospel music” everybody groaned except Angie who perked up. “You guys will be writing a one page response on how much God means to us, remember…keep it catholic”.
She started playing music and everybody got to their work, except me. I became mesmerized by this one song that was playing.
“But the waves keep on tellin’ me time and time again boy you’ll never win, you’ll never win oh but the voice of truth tells me a different story”.
This song painted the picture of my life, I fail time and time again trying to figure out what to do in this messed up world and like a wave, my anger over takes me. Until I hear the voice of truth who comforts me and keeps me sain…eh for the most part. I smiled to myself remembering when just last week I believed I was crazy…ah good times.
I tapped Angie on the shoulder who smiled brightly at me “yes” I smiled cautiously trying not to poke the bear as she was doing her work.
No one disturbs Angel Storm when she is in the ‘zone’…or so I’m told. “What’s this song called” “the Voice of Truth” she replied in a ‘duh’ tone “by who”. She glared moving away from her work “casting crowns” I nodded and quickly wrote it down.
I knew with all my heart the answer to Johnny’s answer was “Yes. Yes I want to accept him”.
We were walking out of school as the day quickly passed by and I couldn’t be any happier, “dude wipe the smile of your face you look like Joker gone wild”. Ever since I heard that song I couldn’t be any happier with myself, I also counting down the minutes until I accept him.
Because you know, I want to wait.
Maybe this is why Angie spends so much time at church. “So Mandy are you coming to Derek’s thing” asked Zoe “well I uh…can’t…catholic thing” I nodded understanding.
“Mandy your still a believer in Christ, you may not be ‘Pentecostal’ but you have a relationship with him for God alone does not judge our actions and our title but our hearts and every word we speak”.
Everybody stared at me shocked “where the hell did that come from?” Johnny finally spoke “I have no idea” Zoe shook her head at her boyfriend. Man they really hate swearing “are you?” replied Mandy “no…WELL maybe later I have to help Suzie since the baby is almost due”.
During their conversation Angie grabbed my hand “hey beautiful” of course she blushed “I don’t know why you blush you know how pretty you are” which made her blush harder.
“So would you mind answering my question from earlier?” she looked like she was thinking then remembrance flashed on her face.
“Oh yes about accepting Christ! Well all you have to do is go up to the altar in front of everybody and profess your faith” I laughed softly, if life where that easy.
“What’s the catch?” that’s my life, with a catch “well only one” called it “you have to mean it with all your heart you can’t just enter into heaven saying the sinners prayer-“cuz that would be too easy right?” she nodded “exactly”.
10 minutes later we said our goodbyes and Bre and I were driving to church
“Dweck pwease, pwease”
“Becuase I said so”
“Bree shut up I will not play the frozen CD for you I need to focus on the road, is that clear” I turned to the back seat as she gave me a final pout.
I sighed looking back at the road, suddenly as I approached the church lot a car swerved from the road hitting us violently.
I heard the loud crash as my car got knocked; I heard the screams of Bre and moved toward her suddenly my vision became blurry and I collapsed.
Everything went black.
One brilliant writer once said “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader” so I felt sad when I wrote this chapter and re-read so please comment and tell me how you felt I’m felt intrigued. Live the gospel everyday likes it’s your last *cough* *cough* Derek.
FEW CHAPTERS TO GO…..